Sri Lanka has some wonderful luxury hotels, from traditional, to eco, to discreet colonial high-life, to downright glitzy—but seriously, it absolutely ain’t seen nothing like this!

The 13 in Macau, for which the words ‘outrageous opulence’ don’t even begin to do justice to the concept of sheer, total, completely bonkers over-the-top vulgarity, is literally breathtaking.

Its 200 ‘rooms’, each of which have had $7 million—seven million dollars!—spent on them, are styled as ‘villas’, and the largest, the Villa de Stephen, is 30,000 square feet.

As the UK’s somewhat shocked Independent newspaper points out: “To give you a sense of scale in similarly absurd terms, that’s the same size as Mark Wahlberg’s entire Beverly Hills mansion”.

As it points out: “The ‘entry-level’ villa, if you can call it that, will be the Villa du Comte, which comes with the following: 24-hour butler service and a private elevator that opens directly into the suite.”

If that ain’t enough, add “a roman bath that fits 6 to 8, situated betwixt neo-classical columns under a vaulted baroque ceiling and crystal chandelier, and which can be covered over with a retractable marble floor”.

Meanwhile, guests will sit deep in the lap of stupendous luxury even before they arrive. The 13’s fleet of 30 signature red, custom, extended-wheel-base Rolls-Royce Phantoms represents the single largest order in the über-luxury carmaker’s history.

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